Another Thanksgiving without you.

Sigh.
Holidays are always terribly hard. My Nana was the glue that kept this family together. She passed away a little over a year ago. When she left this world she took a little bit of us with her. I miss her more then I could ever understand. Its not a normal miss, Its like this aching hole in my chest that won't heal. She was my second mother, my rock, my safe place to hide when I had no where else. When I was younger I wanted to die before her so I wouldn't know a world without her. God has other plans for me, I guess. I've been living in a world that doesn't know how wonderful a lady she was. I fear her memory will fade from my mind, so I fight everyday to remember her. Not that I think one day I will no longer remember who this woman is, I just worry I'll forget what her voice sounds like, or what color her eyes were.

Today is a good day to reflect. I haven't really stopped and though "these are all the good things in my life"

• My family. They are so amazing and wonderful. They are always there for me no matter what. My Mother would stop everything to do anything for me. My Dad is one the funnest men alive. I get a lot of my humor from my Dad. My bother. He always watching out for me. When my ex boyfriend broke up with me my brother called me to make sure I was okay. Hes such a sweetheart. Not to forget my Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins who I also love very deeply.
• My friends. I can't even start to list all the shit I make them put up with. I love them. They have seen me go through so much and has never left my side. I love all of you and even though I don't always tell you guys but I do, I don't know what I would do with out you guys.
• My job. Sometimes I hate it, but its a job and I like it. I like the people that I work with. I wish I made more money but whatever. 
• My car. I love to hate it but its the first big thing I have ever bought myself. I'm working just to make the payment on her. A blue 2003 Jetta. I'm proud of her.
• My Faith. Sometimes I lose sight of my beliefs when I am all wrapped up in my own self pity but this is all part of Gods plan, I also forget that.

I could keep going. There is so much I am thankful for.

I have to work 11:30pm to 9:00 am tonight at Old Navy. It should be fun? I'll post a picture of my crazy staff shirt later.