Hope

The infamous, Hope.

Hope dangles from the tree tops,
Waving in the wind,
Flowing along, collecting sins,
The Girl has scraped her shins,
From trying to catch Hope.

Humor her, Hope,
Let her touch her finger tips to your cheeks,
Let her feel the hem of your skirt,
Or the sole of your shoe,
Let her think hes close to you,
Let her think she has you, Hope.

Dance with her Hope,
Spread your cheer,
Allow her no more fear,
Hope, you are the only one can heal,
Who can clear her sickened mind.

I warm The Girl,
Though Hope is promising,
She can by tricky,
She can lead you on,
Fool you into thinking you've got it,
Thinking Hope has given you anything,
Then Hope will run,
That false Hope.

My awful poem skills:

My Dearest Body.

My dearest body,
You once were the home to a happy soul,
A light that flickered in green eyes,
A girl who danced along the light of night,
Now sits alone with crumpled bones.

A twisting, a turning in the mind,
The world spins, whirls, and twirls,
She runs, and runs, and runs,
Despite her strongest efforts,
She cannot keep up.

In a world that does not believe,
She struggles to find relief,
She hunts down power to fight,
To fight for a regular life.

How sick the stomach,
How weary the mind,
She took your hand,
You were so kind,
You lifted her up,
But cannot heal her.

She will be okay,
Its just a inquest,
Before the harshest judge,
Even with her blessings pressed,
She will one day,
Pass this test.

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things: Of shoes, and ships, and sealing-wax, of cabbages, and kings, And why the sea is boiling hot, And whether pigs have wings..."

I feel as though the time has come to step away from my skin. To take a look at what I've become, what I've lost, what I've won, and if I'm happy. Can I answers those? Yes. I have become a hermit. I don't care to see anyone anymore. I try and avoid it. Not with everyone but the less interaction with the outside world the better. Am I happy? That's such a loaded question. Yes I am because I have this one wonderful person in my life who has reminded me that I am alive, wonderful, and beautiful. Hes been a saint. He is the only reason why I even want to leave the house. Its so very unexpected, but I wouldn't change any of it. Am I happy? No, because I'm starting to realize how different we are, how much everything has changed. I'm not big on change, I don't even like changing the way I do my make up. Let alone anything else major in my life. But its okay, everything happens for a reason. We move on, and let things go to make room for new adventures, new stories, and new memories. I have to learn to let go and move on. I have a whole network of people that love me no matter what, that's a really wonderful reason to be happy. I have lost my mind, but won a sense of acceptance of who I am and everything that makes me, well, me.

As time rolls on, I know that nothing will be as it is in this very moment. People will enter and leave my life like a constant revolving door. I have to be okay with that. There is no way around that. I still am scared of what forever will bring me, but I'm ready to take on this adventure. In the words of Peter Pan "to love would be an awfully big adventure" which is the new motto of my life. Love use to scare me, but now I'm going to love as often as I can.

I'm trying to be happy, I'm trying to make it. All things considered, I'm doing well.